i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
