im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
