did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
