Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
