I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
