Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
