Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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