Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize