): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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