THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
