The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
