How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize