and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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