Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
