I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
