Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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