I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
