Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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