I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my being single is dangerous.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
