And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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