I must be too annoying 4 u.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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