Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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