kristin has been a bad kristin
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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