A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
