hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
