Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
