We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
