Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
