We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
