goodnight i made you a song goodbye
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
