i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
