so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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