Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
