Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
