hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
