It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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