where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
