This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I need to calm my uterus...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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