we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
