it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
How's work?
Spinning.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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