I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
