i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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