i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
