I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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