what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize