At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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