Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
