Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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