Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
