We're facebook friends in real life
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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